Finding the Right Therapist
Finding the Right Therapist
By Megan Burnside
Congrats! You decided to go to therapy...what’s next?
Finding a therapist can be intimidating, so that’s why I compiled a list of steps to help you through the process. Ultimately, you need to listen to your gut when finding a therapist that is a good match for you. However, sometimes you can end up with a poor match if you don’t ask some important questions. That’s what happened to me over a year ago when I first started therapy. Now, I have a new, great therapist that I look forward to seeing each session!
I’m Amy’s daughter, Megan, and I am a junior in college. Many of my friends have asked me for mental health advice, so I thought I would take over the blog today and share some advice from the client perspective. Keep reading to see what I have to say about finding the RIGHT therapist for you, so you don’t make the mistakes I did my first time around.
1. Approach with confidence. It’s easy to second guess your decision to go to therapy. It’s easy to think “oh it’s too much work to find someone” or “I won’t be able to find someone at all.” It’s easy to fall in the trap of worrying what others will think due to mental health stigma- even I did this and my mom is a therapist! Whatever you do, remember WHY you are seeking out therapy and do not lose sight of it. Know that you are investing in yourself and working towards a happier life.
2. Use your resources. Ask for referrals from friends in therapy or from your doctors. Another amazing option is using https://www.psychologytoday.com/us - this is what I used to find my fabulous therapist. What is so great about this website is you can set filters to find someone that will be a good fit for you- you can filter on treatment modalities, location, insurance, issues, religion, sexuality, etc.
3. Investigate. Look at their websites. This will give you a feel for the person. As a young female college student, I was looking for someone who would feel like a role model for me. I wanted someone who was a young woman with specialization in EMDR, a trauma therapy. Through reading her website, I resonated with her approach and missions, which made me feel comfortable.
4. Send emails requesting a consult. Did you know that it is standard for therapists to give a 15 minute, free, telephone consultation? This is a great way to feel out the therapist and see if you feel comfortable talking to him or her. Send out a few emails to different therapists you are interested in and ask to schedule a consult. In your email, you may also want to confirm some qualities. For example, I emailed therapists confirming they were EMDR certified, as I didn’t want to do talk therapy. I am an open book and have a network of people I trust to talk to. For me, I needed a way to reprocess my trauma instead of just talking about it.
5. Have your consult. I know, talking on the phone to someone new can be intimidating. Just know, therapists do this all the time! It’s normal to be nervous, but trust in them to lead the conversation. However, it is very helpful to come in with some questions in mind. Here are some questions I recommend asking:
- Do you have experience with x, y, and z? (For me: do you have experience with working with young adults who struggle with anxiety and depression?)
- What is your therapy philosophy?
- What is your rate? Do you take insurance?
- What is your availability like (are you flexible for students, for example)?
- Do you do telehealth?
- Confirm their certifications and inquire about their experience level (for example, I asked my new therapist: Are you EMDR certified and if so, what is your experience with it/is it one of your primary modalities?)
6. Go to your appointment open minded and honest. All you have to do is get there. It is your therapist’s job to guide you through the session and ask the questions. Your job is to be honest in your answers. Building trust can take time. It may take a few sessions before you feel comfortable fully disclosing everything you want to disclose, but honesty is critical. Your therapist may unknowingly misguide you or not help you if you are holding back.
7. Reward yourself! Congrats! You had your first therapy session. Go take care of yourself for the rest of the day. Drink lots of water, get a sweet treat, take a nap, go for a walk...do something to make yourself happy.
8. Lastly, remember to have patience. Make sure you give yourself a few sessions before deciding for sure if this therapist is right for you. And if they aren’t, take a deep breath and try again! Therapy is for EVERYONE, but not every therapist is for everyone. You can do it!
Engage with me in the comment section! Leave a comment addressing one of these:
- If you aren’t in therapy, what has kept you from trying therapy?
- If you are in therapy, what advice do you have to other readers on finding a therapist?
- If you are currently looking, are there other questions you have that this blog did not address?
Please share your feedback by commenting. You may comment anonymously if you choose by entering the word Guest or Anonymous in the Name section and then click “Post Comment”. Thanks!